Love… the force that makes the world go round and something we all seem to seek throughout our lives. We seek it yet we are the ones who create it. While we live by the rule that love conquers all, it’s interesting to ponder that even though we use the term love to refer to one encompassing power, there are no two loves that are the same; just like there are no two people that are completely the same. This is precisely why there’s no simple answer to the question “how long does it take to fall in love”.
- 1 Let’s Talk Science First
- 2 The Process of Falling in Love: Men vs Women
- 3 How Long Does It Take to Fall in Love?
- 4 To Be in Love and to Fall in Love Don’t Have to Be Mutually Exclusive
- 5 How Long Does It Take for a Man to Fall in Love?
- 6 How Long Does It Take for a Woman to Fall in Love?
- 7 How Long Does It Take to Fall Out of Love?
Let’s Talk Science First
It’s true that we like to associate the feeling of love with magic itself, but the fact of the matter is that the said magic happens within our own brains. In that sense, love can be discussed from a more scientific point of view. That said, biological anthropologist, Dr. Helen Fisher states that the act of falling in love happens in three stages: lust, attraction, and attachment.
When we meet someone that catches our eye for the first time, we enter the stage of lust where the brain produces estrogen and testosterone increasingly.
Once we move to the attraction stage after some time of contact, the brain starts to produce dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine, which are all commonly known as happy hormones. It’s these hormones that are mainly responsible for the feeling of being in love as they often bring extra energy, giddiness, and low appetite.
Finally, when we enter the attachment stage and create a bond with another person, the brain starts producing vasopressin and oxytocin.
Read more: 16 First Date Ideas For Breaking The Ice And Ignite The Fun
The Process of Falling in Love: Men vs Women
One may find this rather interesting, but the science has spoken once again and provided the study results which show that men tend to profess their love faster than women.
How long does it take for a man to fall in love?
Namely, men start thinking about saying they love their partner about three months into the relationship.
How long does it take for a woman to fall in love?
Women were noted to do the same after about five months into the relationship.
So, how long does it take to fall in love on average? Essentially, the average number of days it takes to profess love is 88 for gents and 134 for the ladies. This result may be due to the fact that women take longer to feel safe in a romantic relationship to openly express their love compared to men, even though they may be in love already.
Of course, this is just a speculation based on average results. How long does it take to fall in love scientifically is a question that has a completely different answer to how long does it take to fall in love with someone in reality. It’s important to point out that different people react differently when they’re in love. This is far more complex than just being gender-based; it all depends on the individual.
How Long Does It Take to Fall in Love?
1. As long as you feel comfortable with each other
Some people will say that the first couple of dates are nothing more than pure lust. They find that the true feeling of being in love comes after months of dating and spending time together, getting to know each other. Can you fall in love fast? Sure. But for people who look to find a real connection, this process lasts a bit longer.
2. For some it takes years
There are individuals who’d argue that love comes only after at least two years of dating. They might like to take things slow and get a feel for the other person 100%. This doesn’t only include the lovey-dovey moments but also those more stressful ones. Essentially, if they don’t know the significant other through and through, they can’t really talk about love.
3. When you start living together
How long does it take to fall in love with someone on average means nothing to people who need to share their daily routine with another. For them, nothing is certain until you actually start living together.
4. The moment you talk to them
Can you fall in love fast? For some people, there’s no other way. While others take months and years to process their feelings and get to know the other person before they can safely claim they’re in love, others find the butterflies in their stomach within the first moments of being with the person they like more than enough to state they’re in love confidently.
It’s worth noting though that even though it may take seconds for someone to fall in love, staying in love may as well take a lifetime.
5. Once it’s no longer just a crush
How long does it take to like someone may be easier to answer than the actual feeling of love. After all, it’s simple enough to have a crush on someone, but you may only be able to say you’re in love with them once that crush develops into something deeper.
6. After you meet the family
Can you really say you’re in love with someone and ready to spend your life with them until you’ve met their family? Some individuals deem it impossible. How long does it take to fall in love is not the right question for them; can they fall in love may be more appropriate in this scenario.
7. When all walls are down
Everyone carries their own burden and past trauma. It’s not uncommon for people to build walls around them and put up a front even when they start dating just because it’s safer that way. Building walls is one of the most common defense mechanisms as it allows the person to explore their options without the danger of getting hurt too deeply. However, without the openness and complete lack of pretenses, it’s not possible to truly experience love either. This is precisely why some people believe that it’s only possible to really fall in love once all the walls are gone and both people feel their hearts are safe with each other.
8. It depends on your meaning of love
Many people would agree that asking how long does it take to fall in love has no real answer. After all, different people often have a different view of love altogether. That said, how long does it take to fall in love psychology-wise offers a variety of opinions that differ across genders as well as individuals. In that sense, one may be able to fall in love in a day or a week, while someone else would need months or years to feel the same.
Not only that, but many people view love through their own personal lenses. To say you’ve fallen in love may equal true love for someone while it may mean nothing more than liking someone for another person.
Read more: The Psychological Effects of Any Relationship (Yes, Even The Happy Ones)
To Be in Love and to Fall in Love Don’t Have to Be Mutually Exclusive
For the majority of lovers, it’s not easy to draw a line between falling in love and being in love. What’s more, when they have to look back on their relationship, it’s not uncommon to hear people claim that they can’t really say when they’ve started being in love. After all, it’s also possible to be in love as you fall in love. True, we all tend to focus on separating the two and while this works for some people, others simply feel everything at once.
It’s often said that falling in love revolves around the feelings of infatuation and obsession while actually being in love extends from the mere physical concept to the spiritual connection, appreciation, respect, and support.
Common romantic behavior when falling in love:
- Urge to listen to happy love songs
- You get butterflies in your stomach
- You constantly think about the previous and next dates
Common romantic behavior when being in love:
- You want to get them to know you as much as you want to get to know them
- The connection has gone beyond physical attraction
- You don’t feel the urge to get upset every time they can’t get away from their other responsibilities just to meet up with you
When you think about these, how long does it take to fall in love becomes a totally insignificant matter since everything can happen simultaneously. You can still feel the butterflies in your stomach and get all nervous before your date while feeling completely comfortable in their presence to be yourself. And you can feel sexually attracted to them while at the same time being very appreciative and respectful of their personality and individuality.
Read more: 28 Toxic Signs To Look Out For To Confirm Leaving A Toxic Relationship
How Long Does It Take for a Man to Fall in Love?
As mentioned, the answer to how long does it take to fall in love scientifically for men was said to be about 88 days on average. But as already stated, this is not a rule by any means. That said, there are signs a man is falling in love with a woman that may work better for reading the situation than scientific studies on the matter.
How fast do men fall in love? Well, it doesn’t matter really. As long as you notice the following signs, you can be 100% certain that he’s already head over heels for you.
- He wants to know your future plans about family, marriage, kids, work, moving, and so on
- He often gazes into your eyes as you speak
- You notice that he’s always trying his best to put you first
- When you start laughing, often times he starts laughing with you as well
- He’s not shying away from sharing intimate details about himself with you; quite the contrary
- He acts all happy and optimistic about life
- When he speaks about future plans, he often talks about “us” and “we”
- He’s willing to sacrifice his comfort zone for you
- He feels comfortable enough to be relaxed with you
1. How guys text when they like you?
Even though everything is better in person, we live in a world of smartphones and social media; it’s safe to say that people spend a lot of their time texting each other aside from meeting up in person. And there are plenty of signs to pick up from this as well. If you want to know how guys text when they like you, pay attention to the following:
- He takes the time to ask you a lot of questions and prolong the texting
- He’s not afraid to start the conversation himself
- Even when he goes out with friends, he finds the time to text you
- When he texts, a lot of his messages are relatively long
- You don’t have to wait a long time to get his reply
- He uses emojis – a lot
- He feels comfortable texting you about anything and everything with no special reason
This is how to know if a guy likes you through texts; and what do you know – he may be already in love with you.
2. Can a man fall in love long distance?
Of course, he can. Actually, anybody can. As already mentioned, we live in a digital age and there’s nothing strange with meeting someone online and falling for them; or dealing with momentary circumstances that require long distance relationship. This is especially true for men who want a committed relationship. To talk science again, how long does it take to fall in love psychology-wise for men is all about replacing the increase of testosterone with the increase of oxytocin; that often happens for gents when they manage to settle into a loving and committed relationship.
However, starting a long distance relationship with someone you just met may be challenging for both men and women. If there’s no room for deepening the connection beyond texting and online meetings for a good long while, chances are your feelings may not be able to mature enough as you’re skipping the much-needed physical stage. Of course, this again is not a rule, and there are cases when starting a long distance relationship with someone you just met blossomed into a love of a lifetime.
Read more: 8 Easy Ways To Make People Like You More
How Long Does It Take for a Woman to Fall in Love?
According to the previously mentioned studies, women need approximately 134 days into the relationship to feel safe enough to profess their love. Again, this is definitely not true for every lady out there. But it seems that women still find the question of how long does it take to fall in love with someone to be a bit more complex.
We tend to view men as a gender that’s less guided by their emotions and often dwell on questions like how fast do men fall in love and can a man fall in love long distance more than we do in the case of women. However, scientifically, women seem to be better at controlling their emotions when it comes to love. Their oxytocin levels rise when they feel safe enough to fully trust their romantic partner. And this trust takes longer to build, which is also why it’s a probable assumption that they need more time to allow themselves to fall in love.
1. Signs a woman is falling in love with a man
Similar to the signs a man is falling in love with a woman, there’s no much difference to how ladies act when they’re completely head over heels in love with someone.
- She can say loving things freely
- She smiles a lot both when she’s around you and when she’s not
- Even with a busy schedule of her own, she tries to spend as much time with you as possible
- She feels utterly disinterested in other guys
- She finds you comfortable and close enough to open up with her intimacy as well as her fears
- Your quirks and potential flaws are adorable to her
- She enjoys teasing you
- Whenever she has news, she makes it a point to share it with you first
- She openly asks you for advice for a variety of situations in her life
2. How to know if a girl likes you through texts
Signs of how to know if a guy likes you through texts are pretty similar in the opposite case as well. However, there are some extra nuances you might want to remember if you feel unsure about her feelings.
- She shares her updates with you constantly, even the insignificant ones
- She often chooses to use the cute version of spelling
- If you slow down on your replies, she notices immediately
- She finds it easier to be flirty via texts
- She sends a lot of photos; if not of her than of things around her
Read more: 5 No-Nonsense Tips On How To Get Over Someone
How Long Does It Take to Fall Out of Love?
Can you fall in love fast? Yes. But can you fall out of love fast? Not so much.
Let’s revise. How long does it take for a woman to fall in love according to scientific research? About 134 days. How long does it take for a man to fall in love in that sense? About 88 days. And how long does it take to stop loving someone? Approximately between three and six months if we were to continue with the general approach to the emotion.
Of course, it’s important to note that, in the end, this process is also very individual. While some people may be ready to resume dating with a strong heart after only a couple of weeks, others may need even whole years to completely recover.
People can break up and decide to never see each other in one instant, but just because they’re no longer together doesn’t mean there’s no love involved anymore either. When we ponder how long does it take to like someone to actually loving someone, we’re obviously faced with a complex process that takes time. Therefore, it’s no wonder that we can’t speak of the question of how long does it take to fall out of love lightly.
When someone stops being a part of your life, you naturally enter the grieving process. And just like with every emotional loss, you need time to heal your wounds properly.
Of course, sometimes, one may fall out of love while still in a relationship. This often happens due to a number of reasons, the most common ones being:
- Lack of communication
- No courtship
- Constant arguing
- Minimized intimacy
- Neglecting each other’s needs
Do the right thing
If you notice that this has happened to you, too, it’s important to have a serious and open conversation about it with your partner. Sometimes, it will be possible to work things out and try to fall in love once again through mutual effort. But if you deem it impossible, it’s better to break things off so that the other person can start their process of falling out of love as well. You can never know how long does it take to stop loving someone for other people. Therefore, it’s only fair to come clean and cut the cord if you’re set on moving on.
So, how long does it take to fall in love? The answers to this question are many. But why bother with how long when falling in love is never a one-and-done thing; when you’re with the right person, you get to fall in love with them over and over again.